Tuesday, May 19, 2009

You've got to have heart

A dear friend of mine calls me the Tin Woman.  This friend and I talk about everything and anything.  We laugh together, bitch together and cry together.  It is the crying the has turned me into the Tin Woman.  I am always told that if I cry, I will rust.  (of course, the same can be said about going out in the rain!) My response is always  "I lost my oilcan...have you seen it."  One special thing about this friend, is that this friend is one of my Very Best Friends, and like with all VBFs, this friend owns a peice of my heart.

As the Tin Woman, can this be so? Can I dole out pieces of my heart to other people? Did the Tin Man have a heart?  What do hearts feel? Can they feel? These are my deep thoughts for the day!

The Tin Man in The Wizard of OZ thought he didn't have a heart. He thought that he was heartless. I'm sure that at times many of us, like the Tinman, have felt heartless. Maybe you said no one too many times to your child, or didn't want to deal with your friend because you just wanted to be left alone, or you cut someone off just to be nasty.  No reason.. you just felt heartless.  But the truth is, you weren't heartless, you were just being human. And you probably eneded up feeling bad about your actions later anyway.  No one is truly heartless. The Tinman thought he was heartless, and wished so badly for a heart, yet if you look at his actions to help Dorothy, it shows that he not only had a heart, but he had heart...miles and miles of heart. He helped defeat the Wicked Witch...and melt her, fought against her Flying Monkeys, to save Dorothy. I don't know what you think, but I think that takes heart.  I know I wouldn't want to take on Flying Monkeys! (I do know that there is a little bit of Wicked Witch in all of us!)

Then there is the broken heart. Now that we know the Tin Man had a heart, let's talk about broken hearts. Have you ever had a broken heart? Did you know that you can actually feel your heart break, feel it tear in two. You can even feel the tear grow  bigger. This doesn't just happen when someone you love hurts you, it can also happens when someone you love is hurting. There is an actual phsical pain that you feel where your heart is when when your heart is breaking.  It is one of the worst types of pain I have ever felt.  Noboby I love, my friends or my family should ever have to feel pain.  Or the pain of a broken heart.  Of course, a broken heart causes tears, and tears of course, can cause the Tin Woman to rust! (Oil Can ???)

How about a Heart Full of Joy?  I'm sure we've all felt that!  At our weddings, our graduations, when our children were born, when our children have reached major milestones, or performed at concerts or at sports to their full potential.  This too can be a physical feeling, like butterflies in your stomach, only closer to where your heart is.  How can anyone complain about life when they have a heart full of joy? (and yes, this too can cause the Tin Woman to cry!)

And then there is the ultimate...Love.  This is what the heart was designed for. What can I say about love.  We have all felt it in some way or another.  For our parents, our siblings, other family members, our significant others, our kids, our friends.   When I mentioned the feeling of butterflies in your stomach before, that was nothing compared to the feeling of a heart that is full of love.  That is like flying thru the sky on your own set of wings.  A wonderful flight that you never want to end. Feeling love can also cause heartache too, but we must try to look past that heartache toward the joy and happiness that love brings us.  Love is the ultimate feeling that the Tinman never thought he would feel until he met Dorothy. (Sniff, sniff, rust, rust.)

So what have I been trying to say here?  I guess what I'm saying is that we all have a heart and have heart, and the wonderful and sometimes not so wonderful feeings that having a heart gives us.  I'm sure there are times we wish we didn't have a heart, so we didn't have to feel, but these feelings are what make us special and who we are.  The Tinman was never without a heart...it was always there, he just didn't know how to use it.  You all know how to use your hearts. Use them well, and for the better.  Use them to love your family and your friends. That is what I use mine for.  And yes, as the Tin Woman, even I can dole peices of my heart out to those that I love.  In fact there are certain readers out there who own pieces of my heart, and you all know who you are!  So now that I am done writing, I am off to find my oil can, becuase this deep thought is making me rust!

Sunday, May 17, 2009

A Note For All My Friends

For my old friends and new.....I have been doing some deep thinking and thought I would post some thoughts for you all to read. For those of you that have been in my life for the past 7 years, you know what I have gone thru, with 61/2 years of illness and dialysis leading up to my kidney transplant last summer. For those of you that know, I tried living those 6 years as normally as I could, so my family could live as normally as possible, even with dialysis 3 hours a day, 6 days a week, and I tried to do everything with a smile (at least I hope I did!) Of course, I could not have done anything without the help of my loving husband Mike, my wonderful kids Robyn and Joey, my Synogogue community and the Fox Mill E.S. community. But most especially without the help of my friends, who were always there for me, bringing me dinners (or arranging to have Kosher or vegetarian dinners brought over,) taking me out for coffee, taking Robyn and Joey when I had to have surgery, or just for calling to see how I was doing. Of course it weren't for my friends and their love and faith, then I wouldn't have had enough belief in myself to be so positive about things, and let me tell you there were times when I really didn't feel so positive, but you guys (and gals!!!) always knew how to make me feel better. When life gave me lemons, you made me lemonade, when someone ate my bowl of cherries, you all decided we should have spitting contests with the bowl of pits! My friends are the people who make me who I am, and I thank you for that, and I love you all the more for it. That being said, I want to give back to my friends, especially those who are going thru some tough times right now..with their health, with their kids, with their marriages...
-Think positive. Being negative will not help you through your rough times. I think that by thinking positive was what got me thru the rough times I had.
-Don't spend your life hiding under the blankets. I know that's what you feel like doing, but it accomplishes nothing. Once in a while when it is a dark, dreary stormy day, yeah, go for it, but then come out, and approach life with a positive attitude and a smile on your face.
-Take the advice you are given, esp. if many people are giving it and it makes sense (not medical advice, unless you have consulted a Dr, or are told to do so by a Dr.)
-Don't just sit there spinning your wheels. Remember, if you continue to do what you've always done, you will continue to get what you've always got.
-Lean on your friends. That's what they are there for, however, sometimes they get tired of hearing the same thing over and over. If you have an issue that you keep telling them about, but you refuse to help yourself, listen to advice or get some help, your friends aren't going to want to listen anymore. There is only so much anyone can listen to about an issue if a person doesn't try to help themselves, or continues to make excuses. I know that there are some situations where there is nothing you can do but wait (been there, done that but the last thing I tried to do was complain to people.)
-Have faith in your self!
-Have faith in God
-Remember your rough times won't last forever, and your friends are here to help you through them. Your friends love you and are their for you....even if they root for the wrong sports teams!  
So to all me friends who have seen me through the roughest 7 years of my life, THANK YOU and I LOVE YOU TO LIFE! (And you know who you are...Wendi, especially!!! You were not only a great hand holder, food giver, diinner organizer, starbucks buddy and book giver, but you ALWAYS took Robyn and Joey for the day, the afternoon, overnite, anytime I had a Drs appt, I had outpatient surgery, or was in the hospital, and as we know, that happend quite often! I love you and David, and know you guys came into our lives for a reason...we never would have made it without you!) To all my old friends who are back in my life, I am glad I am healthy now to enjoy having you back in my life....You are all very special to me in many ways. You all have come back in to my life at a fantastic time for me...I am me again for the first time in many years, and it is actually new for me, and I am relearning about myself! To all my new friends, welcome to my life! As I just stated, I am just starting to relearn about my self, so welcome to my wild ride! I love you all in many different ways! One thing I know is that I will never ever take a friend for granted! My friends all rock! Each and every one of you mean the world to me. Thanx for being there and for being my friends!